My Sister

It may not be common knowledge to everyone we know but my sister has moved out of the house after 21 years of sapping our energies.

I ventured down to her house on Friday, still seems weird to refer to it as solely her house, but yes, for the first time since its discussion way back at the start of the year I took a road trip down, with my mum and dad, to deliver her wardrobe.

Upon entering the town of Galashiels, I was hit with an unusual atmosphere, as I am used to the drab run down area of Renfrewshire, this looked different, perhaps it was something to do with the lack of delapidated houses, or that it looked quite genuine and vibrant, not like the straight rows upon rows of houses in an estate around these parts, in which they are all pebble-dashed to either white or some form of grey and the fences surrounding the properties are 7ft high, yes even in the torrential rain I still seen that with the sun the place would look spectacular.

upon arriving at the street of Kayleighs residence I had no idea where to look for her house or what it even remotely looked like, that little problem was quickly remedied by a 5ft woman standing at a rather large window on the 2nd floor of a what used to be masonic hall, So after making our greetings, my dad and I went out to get the wardrobe, It was a mission trying to get it up those stairs and into her room. After finishing with the wardrobe  I went back downstairs into her living room and two things hit me, the sheer size of the living room, it was massive and well kept, I couldn't believe a student could get such great accommodation. The second thing was that my sister who was living with me for the past 20 years of my life has moved out and most likely would not return to stay for a lengthy period of time for a damn good while. I don't know why but all of a sudden I felt a sadness that hadn't been there before even knowing full well that she would be moving out.

Kayleigh and I, we have our fights like a normal brother and sister... probably even more severe and intense than the normal bro/sis fights and sometime she did really really.....and I mean really annoy me. then there were times where we were good friends and chatted away.

I guess when something upsets your balance, your not happy with it, oh don't get me wrong I'm extremely happy for her, and happy in a small regard to see the back of her...haha, it will take you a while to adjust your balance but you'll get there in the end...


...I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I thought I wouldn't, being quite rational, and thinking she has only moved to a different house. I miss her and want to wish her luck in her new house and in university.

Problems!

I have been told peoples problems and and heard of other peoples problems, there seems to be a build up of problems for people. I'm sat here wondering why, obviously I can only speculate because I, myself, do not shoulder these problems but I can say I have had similar "problems" in the past. I am stricken by a thought, for the majority of these problems there is just no need to fret, get angry or lash out over, purely because these problems are so minuscule that the probability of them being a major deciding factor in the turn out of your life or relationship is so close to zero.

I understand that people have these problems because they have been thinking it over and are convinced that it might happen and so they should prepare in someway and that if someone came by who could potentially oppose to your thoughts, they will get the brunt of the problem shoved in their face. With their attempt to remedy the problem they only get sucked into the vortex and become fuel for the person with the problem in the first place.

I write this blog for no other reason than to show that these petty problems are a potential conductor for destruction, destruction of a relationship or a friendship. It is my personal opinion that if people just took a step back and went over their problem in their heads and said "Am I dealing with this the best possible way?, is it really something to think upon too long?", a lot less arguments would occur.

This is of course only my opinion on the small problems like, "Why is he acting like a dick?", "who took what was mine?". It is common for people to make mountains out of molehills for the smallest thing, "why is such and such looking at me like that?". Not everyone has some sort of hidden agenda!

To quote my sister "There is just nae need".

I suppose it all boils down to "think before you head down a dark path with all guns ablaze!". You don't know how much darker its going to get, how many other paths are branching off it, oh and lets not forget that the person at the end of that path might be a mean motherfucker with a bigger set of guns!

Rules for finding Fulfillment

After my doing my nosy on a few websites I found this set of Rules.


The rules are written by a father, Paul Flannagan , to his children when he had be told he had two months to live due to cancer.


I think we can all learn something from this set of rules.

A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILMENT

•  Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.
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• Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.
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• Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.
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• Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.
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• Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.
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• Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.
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• Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.
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• Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.
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• Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.
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• Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.
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• Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.
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• Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.
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• Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.
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• Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.
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• Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.
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• Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.
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• Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.
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• Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.
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• Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.
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• Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.
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• Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.
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• Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.
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• Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.
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• Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.
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• Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.
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• Look after your body and it will look after you.
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• Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!
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• And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.
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I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2017876/A-fathers-message-grave-My-darling-children-heres-live-lives-Daddys-gone.html#ixzz1SwsAxQtD

Lessons on Life

On my 20 years on the planet I have found that observing peoples actions and reactions can tell you a lot about a person, particularly ones self. Who you surround yourself with defines you, take just a moment to think about your friends and family, what are the majority of them like?, now think about what you are like, more often than not you are pulled to people most like you, for example I surround myself with happy and generally funny people ( I say generally because some people think they are funny and try too hard which ironically makes them funny, Mum ) and nine times out of ten I wake up in the morning with a smile on my face which carries on until I go to bed.

So taking into account that the people around you can have a lasting impact on your life without knowing it, I would like to take some time and talk about my dad. The best way to describe him is a fortune teller machine that sits on our small couch on the right hand side. When I see my dad he is basically always sitting on that couch, when asking him for advice you don't get any bullshit, its straight to the point, if you don't like it tough!

I've never heard him give a list of hypothetical "what ifs" concerning a problem, to him it is and always will be to just do it. 

If I had say what pops into my head when I think of my dad it would be this phrase, "Don't think about it, just do it", my dad has said this to me I don't know how many times. With this in mind I would like to tell you about one time when I was at Loudon Castle . . .

It was a warm summers day, my family plus my friends family decided to go to Loudon Castle for the day, I remember being about twelve at the time. We went about our business, going on rides having fun, and then it came to lunch time. We sat down at the outdoor picnic facility and I found myself staring at one of the stall games, the game was a football game, the object of it was to get the ball in any of the seven holes dotted about this board, the holes varied in size and obviously the smaller the hole the greater the prize. To me the smallest hole seemed impossible to fit a full sized ball through but none the less I felt like giving it a go, so my dad, my friend and my friend’s step-dad head on over, pay for one shot. I set the ball down on the mark and study the holes, I then turn to my dad and say "Dad, that hole is too small for me to hit this through, I dunno what to do", to which my dad uttered those words "just do it". Unsatisfied with that answer I proceeded to question the hole "Dad I can’t get it in that hole, the ball is too big", in reaction to this my dad asks the attendant if it is possible to put the ball through the hole, the attendant takes the ball and passes it through the hole, Just! With this act, we attract a somewhat small crowd, I could tell at that moment what they were thinking "there is no way this kid is going to get that ball through that, there is just no way", even the attendant had an annoyed look about him that screamed "just do it, you are gunna fail at it like everyone else". Noticing all those people watching me I began to get a little nervous and doubted my kicking ability, I queried my dad once again, "I dunno what to do, do I just kick it?", what do you think the reply was?, "Tom, don't think about it, just do it!", at that moment all my thoughts disappeared, I went into auto-mode and just smacked the ball with my foot, the ball hurtled towards the board and goes through that small hole that I questioned so much, as soon as it passed through I remember bouncing up and down with my dad and the others, looking at the spectators as I was jumping and seeing the disbelief on their faces and even more so the huge disbelief on the attendants face. I won an almost life sized plush version of Homer Simpson.

I like to think back on this story when I find myself questioning things and repeating in my head "don't think about it, just do it" because more often than not it is the right way to go about it, thinking can lead to over thinking and coming up with a million reason and doubts and deter you from doing what you want but to just do it can lead to great things. Sad to say but I never really thought my dad had that much of an impact on my personality but just taking a moment out to think about it, he has taught me one of my most treasured life lessons to date.

All kinds of people are filled with wisdom and something to teach us, all we have to do is look.

Ducks, silly string and a shaky fence!

People have been asking for my next blog and I did have a few ideas lined up, something recently happened that I think would put a positive and funny light on the day.

Thursday night, eleven o'clock, sitting in the living room of my friend Lewis, I asked Natalie Erskine if her and her sister, Julie, would like to come to Lilias day on the Saturday. She instantly said yeah but she would need to ask her sister as she would be babysitting. It was later settled and was decided that we would all go to Lilias day including their cousin who they were babysitting.

On the Saturday Lewis and I head out to pick them up from Erskine, after picking them up we head to Kilbarchan. I'll admit my first thought was "I don't remember it being this small", I was also a little worried in case the day wasn't as fun as hoped because of the limited amount of things to do there. It turned out eventful indeed.

It started with their little cousin Kayleigh (I will assume this is the correct spelling of her name) acting shy around me. The day goes as expected a look about the stalls and such, until Kayleigh buys some silly string, it would be no exaggeration to say that she emptied the entire can all over me, I was covered in pink that said it was extremely fun, childish but fun. 

The cherry on the cake for me was when on the football field, which was the centre attraction for all the events on that day, the event we were watching was a farmer and his dog herding ducks around a obstacle course, quite entertaining, he then asked for 3 children to volunteer to stand inside rings, with that announcement a flurry of kids poured into the field, destroying which ever blockade stood in their way, all to stand in these rings, they were positioned and then there was another announcement for 6 women and 6 men to enter the field for a bit of a competition, Lewis being the somewhat out going type jumped at the chance and ran out right into the field, the announcer then asked him "Do you have any friends who could come up?", to which Lewis stretched out his arm and pointed to me and said " Aye!, Tom, over there!", now me being a somewhat introverted and shy character refused Lewis's attempt to get me up, but once the announcer said over the 30 large speakers that were placed about the field, "C’mon Tom, C’mon!", I couldn't refuse knowing that now all the spectators eyes were firmly fixed upon myself.

So deciding, what’s the worst that could happen, I got all hyped up and attempted to jump the fence, I say attempted because in the process of doing my awesome jump the fence post decided to shake at its foundations and throw me off my landing, I landed on my feet only to lose balance and fall face first into the ground, the whole crowd burst out laughing and the announcer went into a long "WHEEEEEYYYY" over the speakers.

Totally unshaken by the fall I get back up and proceed to the other guys, when all the required people are assembled we are then informed that we ourselves are to guide the ducks around the obstacle course without the use of the dog, females versus males, the females incur a time penalty because the ducks deviated from the path, it was then the guys turn, it’s fair to say we looked like utter idiots trying to usher these ducks around. In the end we won the competition.

It was a great wee day out and I wouldn't have spent it with anyone else. The highlight for almost everybody involved would be me face planting it into the ground. For me it was spending it with the people who made it a great day.

The sum of all Fears!

This is the first time I've used a blogging site, I figure it is time to rethink certain aspects of my life in an attempt to improve them and this blogging tool is one of the ways to achieve this. I have found that friends have gained considerable popularity through blogging, yet underneath that is not what drives them to blog, they blog because they enjoy their topic and want to share it with the rest of us in an attempt to make others happy while reading it.

I've found that I regularly check up on my friends blog about fashion (woman's fashion), despite common thought I am not a woman, pause for laughter, yet why do I go on this blog. It's not because I am interested in maybe purchasing her clothing, it's because she has an initial hook of a topic heading that I can’t help but get drawn into and when reading the blog it comes across as if she it’s just doing it for herself and doesn't give a damn if anyone reads it.

She knows who I am talking about.

But that bares no relevance to my topic header, I write this first blog because I had a thought last night, the thought is based on my knowledge of myself and my mental state. It begins years back. three years, give or take, I am sitting in a rented house with no job and total dependency on my parents, oh by the way this was at the age of 17, no surface desire to go into education until one day my mum hands me a book, "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers. My mum is quite the sharp tack, she knew straight from the off that it was fear that was holding me back. So I read the book, followed the books teachings and wound up with a college interview, despite my underlying fear that I would somehow muck the interview up I proceeded anyway, hands twitching, almost sweating because of my nervous state. I head to the secretary’s office only to be told my interview is for 2 PM not 9AM, I being the worrier that I am start to panic, the panic is quickly put to rest when I am informed that I can be interviewed at 9. I had done it, not so much of a deal for anyone else but for myself I considered it an accomplishment at the time!

That book had taught me quite a lot, which helped me in the coming years; I was coming out of my shell more and more. For my birthday in February, I was handed another book "INFLUENCE" by Robert B. Cialdini. This book consisted of ways to find out if you are being manipulated into a way of thinking and how to counteract it. now being a person who is quite reliant on other peoples suggestions this book was an eye opener, coupled with thing one of my friends was telling me about persuasion, I found that I had been willingly taking in peoples suggestions and not formulating my own for fear of them being wrong therefore willingly being manipulated. 

All this together, put into practice, allowed me to come out of my comfort bubble and do things I otherwise wouldn't have liked doing, friends noted a change in me as well. Recently I feel I've began to slip back into habits from 3 years ago and be comfortable with sitting in the house most days and playing World of Warcraft.

This brought me to last night, or this morning whatever way you wish to look at it, 5 o'clock sitting in the darkness of my room, I realized that after pushing aside all that stupid fear, I let another build up inside.

The fear of taking risks, I noticed that in the past couple of weeks I have been avoiding risks because of the possible consequences that might come my way, even though they may have a 0.001% chance of actually occurring that is enough for me to outweigh the possible good effects with that ooh so small negative.

What is it they say - acceptance is the first step towards a solution.

In closing I would like to say I wrote this entry not for the amusement of others, feel free to judge if you wish even comment. I wrote it because it will serve as a reminder, constantly there, of how boring and unsatisfying life is when filled with fear.